“YOU KNEW WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR.”

I lovingly refer to our family as an “Elder Military Family”.

(Picture us very emo now…all in black….just kidding…it’s probably just me in all black lol)

We have a very non-traditional journey that led us to the Active Duty Military Family life we’re living now…and I’m asked so frequently about it that I figured I could try and put the puzzle pieces together here on the blog!

So here we go.

ONCE UPON A TIME,

In the year of our Lord, 2008,

I met my now husband while I was in college, working as a waitress.

I KNEW before he’d even spoken a word to me, that I was going to marry him.

FOR REAL!

You can ask my dad. I called him and the minute he picked up I exclaimed, “DAD?! Guess. WHAT. I just met my future HUSBAND!!!”

To which he replied, “Uh huh. Yes dear, that’s nice. And does he know you exist?”

ME: “...Nooo…BUT I’M WORKING ON IT!”

True story.

A couple weeks went by and lo and behold, he noticed me.

(Actually he probably noticed my hair, but you know, I was there, too.)

We fell pretty hard and fast for one another so naturally,

He was shipping off to bootcamp in 2 months.

He was going into the military as a Coast Guard Reserve.

And I was SO DOWN to be a Coastie Girlfriend!!

I’d seen The Guardian.

I knew what’s up.

The “radio silence” that was bootcamp was pretty unbearable…my first little glimpse into the loneliness that comes with this military life.

During that time apart though, I resolved that

I would absolutely follow that boy anywhere.

8 weeks of bootcamp separation was hard on my little 19 year old heart, so you best bet I wrote him a letter every single day —I’m grateful for all the new means of communication we have now (like Sandboxx) but there’s something pretty romantic about writing snail mail back and forth…I bound all of our letters together into a book, actually! I’ll have to share it here someday…

I flew up to attend his graduation ceremony and sat on those Cape May bleachers, sweating BULLETS, eagerly waiting to spot my Coastie in the crowd.

Right as I spotted him, it just HIT me.

I KNEW, right then and there, he would go active duty some day. I don’t know how, but I just knew.

And in that moment of “knowing”, and NOT for dramatic narrative effect, I truly remember kind of just sitting there and saying to myself, “Well, alright then. I’m going to do whatever it takes to walk this life with him. So, I’ll support him when the time comes.”

It was a great day :)

Now, we’ve lived a WHOLE lot of life since 2008…it almost feels like a WHOLE OTHER life at this point!…But let me do my best not to snooze you as I catch you up to speed…

We got married and had our first child in 2010.

Graduated college in 2011/2012.

Both started working in our career fields (at a court house and as a teacher).

We separated for a year and a half in 2013 to 2014, NOT a military separation! An almost divorce separation…and THAT will have to be a story for another day! LOL

After reconciling, we got pregnant with our 2nd child…and then my husband was presented with a huge opportunity to leave the career field he was in and take over a window tinting business. This was his first major career leap and it ended up being such a blessing to our family, in so many ways. We became financially stable enough in 2017 for me to leave teaching and become a stay at home mom, to my now 2nd AND 3rd son!

All the while my husband was a small business owner, he was still serving as a Coast Guard Reserve for 12 years, stationed at Sector Miami. We always lived within driving distance for him to still come home after serving 1 weekend each month and 2 consecutive weeks each year. He was only activated once for about a 3 month period after the oil spills in the Gulf…so truly…I never actually felt like we were a Military Family. I wasn’t plugged in…there were no special events…I had no community of people (at least military connected people). It really just felt like a random side gig he had! LOL

We DID get to attend my friend’s military wedding during this time, so we got to be shhnazzy ONCE.

In the Spring of 2019, I could tell there was some kind of unrest stirring in my husband…he always seemed to be in deep thought, but not eliciting any information…it was almost as if something was just…out of place…out of order…but I couldn’t pin it myself…

Until we we’re sitting on the couch one Saturday.

In a nutshell, this is how our conversation went down:

He started, with: “Hey…I have to ask you a question about something…”

Me: “Shoot.”

Him: “What would you say…if I was thinking about going…Active Duty?”

Me: * Brief pause *…in my head, “Oooh…there it is.”

Me: out loud, “I’d say let’s go for it.”

Him: “…Are you serious? Just like that?”

Me: “Yep. I’ve told you plenty of times over the years that I knew when I started dating you, that this could always be a path you’d want to follow. And I made up my mind way back then, that if the time ever came, I’d be supportive. And to be honest…I feel like I’ve always known that you’d “arrive” here some day, so really, I can’t even say I’m surprised.”

Him: “Oh boy…well, alright then…let’s do it”

Me: “One condition though…if we do this…this is IT. If we’re uprooting our whole life to do this…No more career jumping. If we do this as a family, we’re all in…”

Him: “Got it.”

Me: “Okay, cool!…Well…this is kind of scary!! But like…really exciting, isn’t it?!”

Him: “Yeah, for real.”

Him: “Oh, by the way, one more thing. I think I’m actually going to commission with the Army…”

Me: “WUT.”

And JUST LIKE THAT,

Over the course of that 2019 summer, he took the ASVAB and other tests, and signed his life away to the Army. He’d have just under a year before he’d have to leave for Bootcamp AGAIN…and attend OCS and BOLC.

And JUST LIKE THAT…

2 weeks later…I found out I was pregnant.

With baby number 4.

How very Military of me.

Now, picture me frantically doing the math to see if he would even be HOME for my 2020 due date!!

HAH!

He was.

PHEW!

But he shipped out 2 months after baby boy arrived…ON our biggie girl’s, birthday :(

With Covid restrictions and all sorts of hold-ups, it took our family 7 months to reunite after Bootcamp and OCS.

2020-2021…WAS A WILD RIDE.

But oooo BUDDY!

I couldn’t even anticipate what 2021-2022 was going to bring us…

We lived in 4 different states in 1 year…went through BOLC…got to finally settled down a bit in Kansas…aaaand 3 weeks later, we got hit with a deployment.

With an extension package AND EVERYTHING!

9 months later, in June of 2022, we finally got to reunite as a family.

And bringing us up to present day 2023, I’m happy to report that we’re still soaking up allll the precious family time we’re able to get.

I can officially say that I no longer feel completely out of the loop and lost in the dark in this military life…dare I say…that I am Lightly-Seasoned?

I’m so proud of everything this “Elder Military Family” has tackled over the years.

There has been a WHOLE LOT that 2008, 19 year old me couldn’t anticipate…but 2023, 34 year old me…wouldn’t change a dang thing.

And YES.

I knew what I signed up for.

I knew I’d follow that boy, absolutely

ANYWHERE.